


Unspoken

by all_game_no_life



Category: Free!, 聲の形 | Koe no Katachi | A Silent Voice (Manga)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bullying, Depression, Fluff and Angst, I swear I love my shark boy and dolphin boi, Koe no Katachi AU, M/M, Uozumi is evil in this because no one remembers who he is so I'm allowed to make him a bitch, bully!Rin, deaf!Haru, other tags to be added as the story goes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-07
Updated: 2019-08-15
Packaged: 2020-04-12 05:52:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19125904
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/all_game_no_life/pseuds/all_game_no_life
Summary: Rin Matsuoka is fascinated by the deaf student in his class, Haruka Nanase. Fueled by a need to stave off boredom, he bullies Haruka until he subsequently transfers to another school.Now in high school, Rin is determined to atone for his sins in his childhood. However, he unexpectedly reconnects with Haruka, and finds out that perhaps something between them had always been left unspoken.





	1. New Kid

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rin hated him.

Whenever Rin thought of his brief time with Haruka Nanase during elementary school, the first thought that came to mind was his swimming.

He was easily the fastest swimmer in the entire school, if not the entire town. He swept past the best of the best like it was nothing, winning race after race and seemingly without care. It was like watching a dolphin in the ocean, completely in its element, as though the water was a part of it. It was as though he belonged there.

That wasn't the only talent that Nanase possessed. He was one of the top students of the class, was the best artist in their grade, and was easily well-liked despite being the quietest. In a word, Nanase was seemingly perfect.

To Rin, he was something beyond reach-- someone far too talented for Rin to catch up to, someone who was everything Rin aspired to be.

Rin _hated_ him.

_**PART 1: BULLY** _

* * *

**4** **years ago**

  
"Nice to meet you!"

He could feel what seemed to be a thousand eyes looking at him, scrutinizing him, judging him. He forced his smile to stay on his face and continued.

"My name is Rin Matsuoka. My name might be girly, but as you can see, I'm a boy!"

A few people in the front row laughed, others giggled. Good.

"Let's get along!"

The class politely clapped as the teacher directed him to his seat. As he walked to the empty desk, Rin passed him.

There he was, right there. Haruka Nanase. The fastest swimmer Rin had ever competed with. The one who Rin had even left his previous school for, though he didn't need to know that.

The one who Rin was determined to beat.

After class, the students gathered around Rin, excitedly asking him questions. Ah, the troubles of the new kid. Although he was in no mood for an interrogation, Rin obliged. He wanted to leave a good impression, after all.

"Which school are you from?"

"I attended Sano Elementary up until now."

"Did you like it there?"

"Yeah, it was pretty good."

"Why did you leave your previous school?"

Rin sucks in a breath. "Ah.. I had to move to my grandma's place and so..."

They thankfully didn't pry more, switching to other topics. "What is your favourite food?" "Do you miss your old friends?" "What hobbies do you have?"

To the last question, Rin said immediately, "Swimming. I love swimming."

He couldn't help but look at Nanase when he said that. The boy was sitting in front of him, bent over some book. He hadn't looked at Rin even once during class.

However, another kid beside him was looking at him. He had brown hair and nervous green eyes that were darting between his friend and Rin.  
Finally, as though coming to a conclusion of some sort, he sat up and walked towards Rin.

Now that he was closer, Rin recognized him. He was another boy from Nanase's swim club at the competition. He had been in backstroke, hadn't he?

"Hello, Matsuoka-kun. Mind if we talk outside for a second?"

Rin wondered if 'we' included Nanase. "Sure," he said. "Sorry, excuse me for a second, everyone."

A moment later he found himself standing in the courtyard with Nanase and his friend, staring up at a gigantic Sakura tree overlooking the fence.

"Whoa, it's huge!" Rin exclaimed with genuine awe. "I wonder if it'll bloom soon."

Makoto Tachibana, as the boy had introduced himself earlier, smiled. "Ah, I think it's still too early."

"Too bad. I had always wanted to swim in a pool of cherry blossoms," Rin said. It was childish, but true.

"I think it's still too cold to swim then.." Tachibana said.

Rin laughed. "So what did you guys call me here for?" he asked, looking straight at Nanase.

How funny. He had followed the guy this far, and yet had never heard him speak. This time too, Nanase stayed quiet, with that look on his face that never revealed the slightest of emotion.

It was kind of annoying.

"Ah," he said. "Trying to teach the new kid a lesson on his first day, huh?"

Tachibana was quick to deny it as he said, "No, it's not like that at all. We were just wondering, if we saw you before. You seemed familiar."

Rin couldn't help but feel happy. "So you remembered!" he grinned. "I was in the same tournament as you last year."

Tachibana smiled widely. "We thought so too! It sure is a coincidence, huh?"

Rin glanced at Nanase.

"Yep," he said. "One hell of a coincidence."

  
***

This time, even Nanase looked shocked.

"Hello, everyone. My name's Rin Matsuoka."

The same school, now the same swimming club too. Rin would be lucky if they bought the coincidence gig.

"My name's like a girl, but I'm a boy! Let's get along!“

Scattered applause again. Tachibana waved at him. Nanase was already walking away towards the pool. Eager.

"It was a surprise. You joined the same SC."

Rin laughed in what he hoped was a convincing tone, but his attention was already somewhere else.

Nanase was swimming.

He was swimming, and Rin couldn't look away.

Rin wanted to swim with him, next to him, against him.

"He's fast," Rin said out loud. Tachibana smiled in a way that told Rin he must have heard it a million times before.

"Haru-chan loves the water."

"You think he'll swim in a relay with me?"

Tachibana looked surprised for a moment before replying, "I don't think so."

"Really? Why not?"

"Haru only swims free."

He'll see about that.

He made his way towards the starting block. Snapped his swimming cap into place before getting into position. Then he dived.

He was in the water, pushing against it with all his might. He was a flame, a spark that was spreading into a wildfire. He could feel Nanase's presence in the lane beside him, cool and unchanging, barely causing so much as a splash. Rin had never been that quiet. He had always fought with the water, and he fought to win.

They reached the finish line at the same time, Rin noticed. Or maybe Nanase was a few seconds early. But in the water, Rin had been his equal. He didn't know about anything else, but in the water they were one and the same.

"Here, Haru-chan. " Tachibana reached out a hand to help Nanase out of the pool. He didn't even glance at Rin as he stepped out and shook water off his hair.

Something snapped inside Rin. "Oi, Nanase!"

Still no response.

"You sure are fast, huh?"

No response, not even a nod or a look.

"I'm talking to you, you know--"

"Matsuoka-kun."

Tachibana interrupted him. Rin looked around. A couple of the kids were looking at him, at Nanase, at each other.

He could hear whispers going around.

"So he doesn't know--"

"Well, he _is_ new, you know--"

"I wonder if--"

Had he done something wrong?

"Matsuoka-kun, um..." Tachibana began. "Listen...Haru can't really hear you."

_Huh?_

"You see he's, well..." Tachibana hesitated.

"Haru's deaf."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yes. In this fic, Rin is a bully. He's a good guy, but as you know from season 1, he has the capacity to be an asshole at times. 
> 
> Also, I will be closely sticking to the plot of Koe No Katachi, if you know it. 
> 
> I have trouble writing Haruka, even tho he's my fave. I always have difficulty with subtle characters, so he might be a little (or probably a lot) ooc, but I'll try and explain why. 
> 
> If you have any tips for writing deaf characters, let me know because I'm struggling


	2. Inconvenience

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Haruka Nanase was an alien.

Over the next 3 days, Rin finally figured it out. 

 

Haruka Nanase was an _alien_.

 

He looked the same as a human from the outside but was actually different on the inside. His body worked differently. He probably couldn't speak their language, the language of humans. He spoke not through his voice, but through a notebook in which he wrote. Rin had sometimes seen him make gestures with his hands. His teacher said it was 'sign language'. 

 

Haruka Nanase was different.

 

Haruka Nanase was a _weirdo_.

 

***

 

『Nanase-kun, you're good at art, right?』

『Not really.』

『Do you wanna join our group?』

『No thanks.』

 

They were in art class, working in groups. Nanase was a good artist, and many of the people in the class wanted him. He, however, remained cold, a usual. 

 

"What the hell..." said one of the girls who had offered to join Nanase. "I was only trying to help him. I wouldn't have gone if the teachers didn't tell us to be nice to him."

 

Rin quietly listened. After she left, he took Nnaase's notebook. 

 

『You're not gonna make any friends like that, you know. 』

 

Nanase was quiet as he looked at his message. Then:

 

『I don't need friends.』

 

 

***

 

 

"Oi, Sousuke."

 

"Yeah?"

 

The two of them were seated on the sidewalk eating popsicles. Rin noticed Sousuke's was nearly melting, dripping all over his shirt as he desperately tried to salvage his treat.

 

"Have you ever met an alien?"

 

Sousuke looked at him. "No, of course not. If I had met one I would be on the news, wouldn't I?"

 

"See, what if you met an alien in a human disguise?"

 

"Ha? What the hell are you talking about?"

 

Rin sighed. For someone who had been friends with since childhood, Sousuke could sure be dense.

 

"Wanna do the Daredevil Contest today?"

 

Sousuke sucked on his popsicle. "Which one is this?"

 

"41st."

 

Sousuke seemed hesitant. "Don't be a chicken, Sousuke," Rin teased.

 

Sousuke hit him on the shoulder as Rin yelped. "Don't call me a chicken."

 

So Rin proceeded to call him chicken.

 

"Fine, fine, let's go." Sousuke got up. "But make it quick."

 

A couple of years ago, after a particularly big fight about whose turn it was to play on the video game console that Rin had at his house, Rin had come up with the very first Daredevil Contest.

 

Today, they were jumping off the bridge.

 

" That's... Actually pretty high," Sousuke said as he peered down, holding onto the rusty railing.

 

"Cowards have to pay for the ice cream next time," Rin said.

 

"Then you do it first."

 

"No problem."

 

Rin climbed over the railing and stared at the murky water below. It _was_ pretty high. Rin almost felt scared.

 

"You know," Sousuke remarked. "I heard if you fall from this height, the water feels like concrete."

 

Rin plunged.

 

Into the water he went, splashing as leaves and pebbles brushed against his skin. It did hurt. The water was cold, and dirty, and honestly terrible.

 

Rin loved it.

 

"Jump already!" Rin shouted at Sousuke, who was staring at him with either admiration or exasperation. "It doesn't hurt at all!" It hurt like hell.

 

"I can't believe you actually jumped, you idiot," Sousuke said, grinning slightly. "Here goes!"

 

In a moment he was beside Rin, groaning.

 

"That _did_ hurt, you moron!"

 

Rin laughed. Another victory against boredom.

 

 

 

When they came back, Rin's mother screamed.

 

"What happened to you two?" 

 

Rin couldn't blame his mother. They were covered head to toe with mud and grime. Rin had scratches in some places too. He had forgotten to take his shoes off, so now they were soaking wet and grimy. 

 

The customer she was styling laughed. "That boy of yours is always getting into something!" 

 

Rin's mother sighed. "Use the back door. I can't have you dirtying up my salon like this. And for God's sake change out of those clothes quickly."

 

They were quick to oblige, changing in the bathroom at the back before proceeding upstairs. 

 

"Ah!" 

 

Rin turned at the sound of his mother's voice. She held up his soaked shoes. 

 

"You dirtied them again," his mom sighed. "Don't you know I have to be the one to clean them, Rinrin?" 

 

Rin blushed. "Don't call me that, old hag!" he shouted as he ran upstairs, Sousuke chuckling as he followed, murmuring _Rinrin_ under his breath. 

 

The Matsuoka Hair Salon was placed at a corner between two houses. Above it, was the actual Matsuoka house-- a tiny, but cozy, place. Rin's room was at the very top. This was Rin and Sousuke's primary hangout, especially since Sousuke's big brother was busy studying and they didn't want to disturb him. There were plenty of disturbances here, though. 

 

"Onii-chan!" 

 

Speak of the devil. 

 

Gou (or Kou as she preferred to be called) Matsuoka, Rin's little sister, had none of Rin's love for adventure and instead chose to dedicate her life to pestering her older brother, a thing she was quite good at. Sousuke liked her, though, for some reason. 

 

"Sousuke! You're here too!" Gou exclaimed happily. "Will you play with me too?" 

 

Sousuke smiled gently, an expression that he seemed to have reserved for Gou alone. "Maybe later," he said. "I gotta keep your idiot big brother company." 

 

Gou laughed. "Onii-chan is an idiot!" 

 

Rin said something not suitable for children's ears before shooing her away. 

 

"Ah, Rin."

 

"Yeah?" 

 

"Your dad. I wanted to pay my respects."

 

"Oh."

 

Rin's dad had died in a fishing boat accident, back when Rin and Gou were too young to even understand the concept of drowning in a storm. Rin had only fond memories of his father, however. He had been a lively man, the kind of father who was firm but let his children experience things for themselves. He had once dreamed of being an Olympic swimmer, but had left it to become a fisherman. 

 

"Why?" Rin had asked once, wide-eyed. To him, a dream not coming true was unimaginable. 

 

"Fishing is more interesting," his dad had said. 

 

"Interesting?" Rin had asked, not quite understanding. 

 

"Yeah," his dad had laughed, a laugh that made Rin forget all his troubles. "Rin, remember:

 

Life is a war against boredom."

 

Rin never forgot it. 

 

_Who was Gandhi?_

_How many buckets of water can fill up a tank?_

_What is the latitudinal location of Iwatobi?_

 

 Rin didn't care about any of that. He wanted to live an interesting life. He wanted to have fun. 

 

He wanted to win against boredom.

 

 

***

 

 

"A one, a two, a one two three and--" 

 

One of their classmates began playing the piano as their teacher conducted. The rest of the students stood in rows, tapping their feet to the rhythm, waiting for their cue to start singing. 

 

 Practising for the choir contest was a pain, but Rin was determined to do well. He wasn't a bad singer, and neither did his classmates appear to be particularly tone-deaf. Ever the competition lover, Rin wanted to win. 

 

"Don't get your hopes up," one of his classmates had said on seeing his enthusiasm. 

 

"Why not?" Rin had asked, cocking his head to the side. 

 

"Well, we have Nanase in our class, after all."

 

Rin hadn't understood what he had meant until singing class actually arrived. 

 

Nanase looked lost as he looked around, probably trying to hear the music. _Well, he shouldn't have participated if he can't hear._

 

At the count of five, Rin thought mentally. One. 

 

Two. 

 

Three. 

 

"The pheshteebal is neah! The thaim uwichtle sais! " 

 

Rin jumped in shock, and so did many of his classmates as they all stopped to stare at Nanase. He looked oblivious, however, as he continued singing that made the crows outside sound like a choir of angels. Absolutely tone deaf.

 

"Haru."

 

Tachibana swept in again, smiling as he tapped him on the shoulder. Nanase stopped and looked. 

 

Tachibana spoke loudly as he said, "You're a bit too early. Follow my lead, okay?" 

 

Haru nodded, looking grateful. 

 

"Ah.. Well," their teacher looked hesitant. "Let's start again, okay?" 

 

Again the piano was played and the song conducted, but whatever enthusiasm the class had left was seemingly gone. 

 

"We're gonna lose this year too, huh?" someone said. Others nodded in agreement. 

 

Nanase didn't hear, of course; just continued trying to sing as though it made a difference. 

 

 

***

 

"Don't you think we're a bit too old for this daredevil stuff?" 

 

Rin was shocked. "What do you mean?" 

 

Sousuke paused before replying, "I mean, I wanna get into a good middle school, you know? And you're going to Australia on that swimming scholarship. I think we should focus on our goals now."

 

Rin went home alone. 

 

At this rate, he was gonna lose to boredom. He was gonna lose. 

 

 

***

 

"I won't apologize he said. Never in a million years--" 

 

"Uozumi!" their teacher said. "How do you expect to convey any emotion while reading like that? Sit down!" 

 

Uozumi sat down with a huff in the seat next to Rin's. "Damn four eyes," he murmured under his breath. 

 

"Alright then," Sensei said. "Next, Nanase."

 

One of the girls tapped on his shoulder as he stood up. He looked hesitant before starting:

 

"Stoh beeinh stuwohn, hes mugeh shaid. Eor gwammuheh tohd eu noht too."

 

His voice had a weird pitch, like someone had cut his words in half down the middle. If it hadn't been for the printed words in his own textbook, Rin wouldn't be able to comprehend what he was saying. Beside him, he could hear people giggling. 

 

"Good," his teacher said. "Next." 

 

"You gotta be kidding me, " Uozumi muttered. 

 

"Matsuoka," his teacher called. 

 

Rin got up and began to read. 

 

"Argle wargle bargle! Eemi mimee timee mo--“

 

" Matsuoka!" his teacher cried as the class laughed, though he had a ghost of a smile on his lips. 

"That's not funny. Sit down."

 

"Argle," Rin said with a mock disappointment. Uozumi grinned. Nanase just looked confused, while Tachibana looked nervous. 

 

 

After class, his teacher pulled him into the staff room. "Matsuoka, you can't do this." 

 

Rin feigned innocence. "Do what?" 

 

His teacher sighed. "Make fun of Nanase."

 

"I wasn't making fun of him, Sir. Just teasing him a little bit. It was all in good fun. The class liked it too, didn't they?" 

 

"Even if they did, Matsuoka, you can't tease someone because of their disability. There are just some things in life you have to deal with."

 

 

『Can you tell me what the teacher just said?』

 

Rin stared at the notebook which Nanase had passed Uozumi. Their maths teacher had assigned them problems to solve. But Nanase couldn't hear, of course. 

 

Uozumi wrote down the questions needed.

"Here you go," he said, passing it back. 

 

『Thanks.』Nanase wrote back. 

 

Uozumi smiled. 

 

Later, Rin heard him talking to his friends in the hallway. "I don't believe this," he was saying. "Even I missed what he was saying this time. Its such a pain." 

 

"I'll lend you my notes later."

 

Rin walked off. _Just some things you have to deal with... Huh?_

 

 

"Oi, Nanase!" 

 

Coach Sasabe blew his whistle again. "Get out of the pool now!" 

 

Nanase didn't reply, just kept swimming. Coach sighed. "Makoto?" he called, sounding tired. 

 

Tachibana reached out a hand to Nanase. "Haru-chan!" he called. "Come out now!" 

 

It took a few minutes but 'Haru-chan' was out of the pool. Rin understood now why a gentle looking person like Makoto always spoke in such a loud voice, sometimes even shouting until he was hoarse. It's cause Nanase couldn't hear. It was why his classmates were super loud; why his teacher repeated instructions five, six times; why their coach had to call for Makoto everytime. 

 

_Just some things you have to deal with._

 

Nanase was a good swimmer, weird as he was. 

 

『You wanna join the relay with me?』, Rin had written in his notebook one day during art class. 

 

Nanase paused in drawing what seemed to be a bunch of flowers that looked like they belonged in an art museum. Damn prodigy. 

 

『I only swim free.』

 

 

 _Weirdo_ , Rin thought. 

 

 

『Why?』

 

 

『None of your business.』

 

He sure was rude. Even though the class had to go through so many pains for him... 

 

_Just some things you have to deal with._

 

Whenever the teacher called on Nanase to answer a question, he spent a long time just writing the answer down. When the teacher gave instructions, someone had to write them down for him. When recess was over, they had to call him, once, twice. 

 

What a pain. 

 

They lost the choir contest because of him. It was expected, but he couldn't help but feel bitter. They hadn't deserved this loss. His classmates agreed too, he knew. 

 

"Even though we practised so hard..." someone was heard saying.

 

"Just cause of him, " another said. 

 

Just cause of him. _Just cause of Nanase._

 

Despite acting so high and mighty, refusing to talk to anyone and saying how he only swam free, Nanase was a pretty lonely kid. 

 

He was talented and well-liked, sure, but the truth was beyond that he didn't have much likeable qualities. He was troublesome. The only reason why his classmates seemed to tolerate him was because he had won so many awards and the like, or because the teacher forced them to. 

 

_Well, so what?_

 

Makoto was absent today, so after swim club was over Nanase was on his own. The coach had got him out of the pool somehow, and now Rin could see him by the bike racks, peering down to check the wheels. Looks like it was busted. 

 

Rin walked slowly towards him. He didn't have a bike: he usually ran home. But something drew him to Nanase. 

 

He crouched down on the ground a bit farther from the boy. Nanase didn't seem to have noticed him. Well, he couldn't hear him approaching, after all. 

 

His bike was definitely busted. Didn't he have any other friends to give him a ride? 

 

 _Loser_.

 

Rin picked up a small pebble and flung it at him. It made contact with a small inaudible thud as Nanase turned around at him. 

 

His blue eyes shone in the setting sun's glow as he stared at Rin. 

 

"You know, at this rate everyone's gonna be sick of you."

 

Nanase continued to stare. 

 

"If you can't sing, you should have just moved your lips. We could have won if it wasn't for you."

 

He stepped closer. 

 

"You're causing trouble for everyone, you know?" 

 

Haruka looked very different for a second. His face relaxed and his lips curved ever so slightly upward. 

 

"What?" Rin asked aggressively. 

 

Haru pointed to Rin, then towards his own chest before clasping his hands together.

 

"Fweinds?" he asked. 

 

Rin felt something rise up in him. Him? Hadn't he been the one to say he didn't need friends? 

 

"What the hell..." he said, picking up a fistful of sand. "SHUT UP!" 

 

Throwing it at Nanase, he turned and ran, not stopping to see the other boy furiously wipe his face, blinking back tears. 

 

As he ran home, everything over the past few weeks ran through his head. Nanase, who was always holding the class back. Nanase, who lost them the choir contest. Nanase, refusing to swim with Rin, acting like he was too good for him before coming back and begging for his "friendship". 

 

Nanase, always ungratefully asking them for more and giving nothing in return. 

 

 _Just some things you have to deal with,_ Sensei had said. 

 

There are just some things you have to deal with. No matter how inconvenient, or irritating, or just terrible. 

 

You just have to deal with them. 

 

 

But _why_?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is much longer! I wanted to show Rin's attitude towards Haru gradually turning into annoyance. He does not mean to be cruel to Haru, its just that in his brain, Haru is causing trouble for them and his sense of morality isn't developed enough to understand why they must bear with it.
> 
> I'm really sorry about mistakes in the chapters! I don't get time to read through them, usually, and end up going with the first draft. I'll try and improve. Thank you for reading!


	3. Sorry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rin's merry men versus the merry alien Nanase!

"Wah!"

Nanase jumped in his seat, turning around with a mix of surprise and annoyance. Rin just grinned.

"Matsuoka!" his teacher reprimanded. "Don't go around shouting in other people's ears."

"Why?" Rin asked. "He can't hear me, can he?"

The class just laughed, and Rin felt happy.

***

"You mean he can't hear at all?" Sousuke asked, looking at Nanase.

He had come to see Rin's new SC. Rin had shown him around, and finally introduced him to the main show that Haruka Nanase himself. They were standing by the gates, watching Nanase and Tachibana talk nearby. If you could call it talking if both of them were just writing stuff and passing it to each other.

"Can't believe you chased a freak all the way here," Sousuke said.

"Hey, I came here to beat him, you know!" Rin said hotly. "And to answer your previous question, he can hear, like, really loud noises."

"How does that work?" Sousuke asked. "How loud is loud enough?"

Rin giggled. "I've been trying to figure that out! I made him jump in class today. But it was just Level 3 Shouting."

Sousuke smiled. "Let me try."

As Nanase passed, he cupped his hands around his mouth. "WAH!" he shouted right as Nanase was close enough.

Nanase actually jumped back, and so did Tachibana. Rin and Sousuke laughed.

"H-Hey!"

Rin stopped. It was Tachibana. He had an expression between fear and anger. His fists were balled at his sides as he stared at them both.

"Don't do that. Haru was scared."

Rin was surprised. Tachibana was usually like a lost pup following Nanase around. He didn't think he had it in him.

It was Sousuke who reacted first.

"Sorry, I was just curious after hearing about him, you know?" he said, grinning. "Nice to meet you. You must be Tachibana and Nanase, right? I'm Sousuke."

Tachibana looked like he was going to say something more, but Nanase tugged at his shirt. He looked at his friend, before replying curtly, "Nice to meet you."

The two of them walked away.

Rin smiled. "Level 4."

***

しゅわ。 _Sign language._

"Now, do any of you know about sign language?" Amakata-sensei asked the class. "It's talking with just your hands and not your voice! Isn't that amazing?"

_Sign language. That actually sounds fun..._

Nanase was standing in the front of the class with their class teacher and Amakata-sensei, a new teacher. He looked distinctly uncomfortable.

"We are going to help Nanase-kun and dedicate three minutes every day to learn sign language. How does that sound?"

"Excuse me!"

It was Uozumi.

"Yes?" Amakata-sensei asked, her voice quivering a little.

"Can't we just write in his notebook instead?"

"It's... It's easier for Nanase-kun to communicate with sign language..."

"Well, it's easier for me to use the notebook," he replied.

"Ah...I'm sure if we all learn it together--"

Their class teacher turned to her. "We? Amakata-sensei, do you even know sign language?"

She looked more nervous by the minute. "N-No, but--"

"Don't you feel embarrassed asking the students to learn something you don't know yourself?"

Uozumi sat down, a smug grin on his face. Other people were chuckling. The new teacher looked thoroughly embarrassed at being told off.

"Um--"

Tachibana was raising his hand.

"I'll learn sign language. I'll learn for half an hour so no one else has to, too."

Amakata-sensei looked delighted. "Wonderful!...?"

"Tachibana."

"Tachibana-kun! How very selfless of you! Everyone give him a hand!"

The class clapped. Uozumi rolled his eyes.

 

"Say, Tachibana-kun," Uozumi later asked during recess. "You've been friends with Nanase for a really long time, right?"

Tachibana looked surprised. "Yes!" he smiled.

"So why didn't you learn sign language before?"

"Ah, well, when I was younger I didn't really understand it myself. And now since I have siblings at home I never really got the time before."

"Oh," Uozumi said. He turned around to his friends. "Must be nice being such a teacher's pet," he said, loud enough for Tachibana to hear.

Nanase, in the midst of teaching him a symbol, stopped. He turned his head to the side, clearly asking what was wrong.

"No, nothing!" Tachibana said, with a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes.

Suddenly, Nanase wasn't the only freak in the eyes of the class: Tachibana was too. It started with a few harsh comments here and there, and eventually turned into large, ugly rumours, calling him words that even Rin wouldn't dare utter.

"Did he get dressed in the dark or something?"

"Whats with his figure? He's like a troll or something, haha--"

"Fagg--"

It was no surprise when Tachibana stopped coming to school.

  
"Does Nanase-kun know what happened to him?" one of them asked afterwards, though everyone knew what had happened.

『He's moving to a new school.』 Nanase wrote.

Nanase stopped coming to the swim club after that. Rin beat him after all.

 

He didn't mention the reason Tachibana moved. He should know, because everyone did.

Nanase. Nanase was the reason. Rin knew it. Tachibana was well-liked. If it hadn't been for Nanase, Tachibana wouldn't have had to move. He wouldn't have been bullied if it wasn't for Nanase.

It was all Nanase's fault.

***

_Congratulations, Nanase! You chased Tachibana away._

_We lost the choir_ _contest because of you, too!_  

_Go back to your home planet, freak!_

The words-- those ugly, hurtful, gleeful words written in white and pink and blue chalk on the classroom blackboard, along with other similar sentences. In plain sight, where Nanase, responsible for bringing the flowers to the classroom, could see them.

He was quiet, but his eyes widened. His hands shook a bit. He lowered his head.

Rin was there, along with Uozumi and the other students. It had been a class project of sorts. Everyone, or almost everyone, contributed. Rin too.

Rin wondered how Nanase would react. Get angry, maybe. Or maybe the opposite. Maybe he would cry and throw a fit right there. Maybe he would just take this outside. Who knows how things on Planet Nanase worked?

Yet, he was doing nothing. Just staring up at the words without any tears, without any anger. Just staring.

"My, how mean!" Rin cried.

"Really, it's pretty cruel. I wonder who did it," Uozumi said.

"Man, what a jerk!" someone else cried.

One by one they were standing up for the freak, the one they had helped to torment.

"Here," Rin said. "I'll erase it for you."

He picked up the duster, and wiped the words off the board. Swipe, swipe. Gone, as though they were never there.

"There," Rin said, wiping his hands clean of chalk dust. "All done."

Nanase was quiet. He wasn't stupid. Rin could tell he knew. He knew who had done it.

 _Go on_ , Rin thought. _Do something._

Nanase picked up a piece of chalk and wrote on the board:

_Thank you._

***

"Nanase."

The person in question looked up from the book he was reading at the sound. Uozumi.

"I've been wondering this for a while now, but..."

He reached out and tucked a strand of hair behind Haruka's ear to reveal a small curved device, attached to his ear.

"What's this? A hearing aid? Does that mean you can actually hear us?"

Nanase didn't reply.

"Here, let me see!"

Before Nanase could protest, he deftly reached up and took it off, examining it.

"Oi, Uozumi!" Rin called from his place by the window. "What's that? Let me see!"

Nanase reached up to grab it as Uozumi threw it across the classroom to Rin, who caught it in his palm.

"Ew, the heck is this? Gross!"

Rin reached his arm back as far as he could, and threw it out of the window. He looked to see how far it went.

This was fun. This was what Nanase was meant for!

Rin had finally found a new game.

  
When Rin saw a slug he poured salt on it. When he saw a pigeon, he chased it. He threw off ant trails and doodled on cats.

Because it was fun.

Nanase was the same.

When he saw Nanase, he threw dust on him. He chased him. He pushed him off track, and doodled on him stuff.

That was what he was meant for.

The rest of the class helped him. Of course they were on his side: they had been tortured by Nanase's presence in the class too.

They grabbed his hearing aids and tossed them out the window, or threw them down on the floor. They stomped them under their feet. They pulled his hair, or put gum in it. They hit him with the ball in PE. They wrote messages on his books and desk.

_You're gross._

_Got a problem? Use your voice._

_Kill yourself._

Because it was fun.

Nanase stayed quiet, too. He let it happen. It was his fault too. If he fought back, it would be more fun. Just Rin's merry men versus the merry alien Nanase!

Nanase was right in front of him, reading. He sure read a lot.

Rin reached out, and pulled at his ears.

A snap was heard, along with Nanase's pained cry.

Clattering of chairs against the floor was heard and Uozumi was at Nanase's side in an instant.

"Nanase-kun? Nanase-kun!"

Rin saw a trickle of blood drip down his elbow.

Someone said what Rin already knew deep inside:

"You went too far."

***

"I'm telling you, I didn't do it on purpose! I was just messing around!"

His teacher didn't look up from his paperwork. "Just don't embarrass me, Rin.

Though... Well, I understand how you feel."

"Damn four eyes," Rin grumbled as he stepped out of the school building. Sousuke was waiting outside for him.

The street lights were already on. The teacher could sure give a lecture when he felt like it.

"Do you have to write an apology or something?"

"Nope!" Rin said happily. "Even he is sick of Nanase, I guess!"

"Aw man, I wanted to see you beg for forgiveness!"

"Ha? What's that supposed to--"

They stopped in their tracks.

"Well, look who's here," Sousuke said, giving a small smile.

Haruka Nanase stood in front of them, alone, with notebook in hand. His blue eyes glistened, and his black hair was slightly more ruffled than usual. His lips were set in a firm line. Was he waiting for them?

" What?" Rin asked spitefully. Then, louder this time, "If you're looking for an apology from me, forget it!"

Nanase scribbled something in his notebook before presenting it to Rin.

_I'm sorry._

"What the--"

Rin grabbed the notebook from his hands forcefully, shaking it around. He waited for a reaction. Nothing.

"Doesn't this piss you off? Come on, say something!"

Nanase was quiet.

Then quietly, he reached out and grabbed Rin's hand in his own.

Rin blushed while Sousuke laughed. "Woah, you are hilarious, Nanase!"

"Let go you freak!"

But Nanase didn't let go. He pointed to himself, then to Rin, then clasped his hands together.

If he hadn't done it before, Rin wouldn't have understood. But he did.

 _Friends_. 

Near them was the pond. Rin knew from pictures that it had once been clean and beautiful, and often students sat down near it to have their lunches or play around. But with time that had changed. The clear water had turned greenish brown, full of fallen leaves from the surrounding trees. No one bothered to clean the shallow, dirty waters. Even Rin, who did not mind getting dirty, wouldn't like to go near it.

Rin tossed Nanase's precious notebook into the water.

_Sploosh!_

It sank beneath the murky liquid, ripples forming on the surface. With it, went all the writings, all the messages, all the doodles of the previous weeks. Disappeared, like it never happened.

"Let's go," Rin said to his best friend. Sousuke followed him silently as they began moving out of the gates.

The sound of water splashing interrupted his thoughts.

Turning around, he saw Nanase jump into the pond, putting his hands beneath the filthy water, searching. Searching for his precious notebook.

Sousuke laughed. "What the heck! That's nasty!"

Rin laughed too. Nanase was a weirdo after all, through and through. An alien. An outsider who never belonged.

They left, leaving Nanase to search for his destroyed notebook alone.

***

"We have something we need to talk about today."

It wasn't often that the Principal himself came to talk to the class. Rin could see the anxiety clear on everyone's face. Something was up.

"As you can see, Nanase Haruka-san is absent from school today."

The seat in front of Rin was empty. He suddenly felt very, very tense.

"Nanase-san has lost eight hearing aids in the past five months. His mother suspects that her son is being bullied in school. As you might know, hearing aids are very expensive. The total cost required to make up for the damage is 1.7 million yen."

Rin thought of his mom, working hard at the salon, cleaning his shoes everyday.

"As Nanase-san's classmates, I'm sure you are aware of the incidents during this time. If you have noticed any bullying or harrasment going on in your class, please raise your hand and speak. Or, we are afraid we might have to involve the authorities."

Rin raised his hand slightly above his desk. Should--

"MATSUOKA! STAND UP! WE ALL KNOW IT WAS YOU, YOU LITTLE TWERP!"

The teacher's angry voice made Rin jump out of his seat.

" Yes, sir," he said meekly.

"Uozumi," he called. "You sit next to him. What did you see?"

Uozumi stood up. "Well," he said. "I guess he did tease her about her hearing. We told him to knock it off, but he never listens."

Rin couldn't believe what he was hearing. "Uozumi!" he said, failing to keep the anger out of his voice. "You teased him too, you know? All of you did!"

"How dare you!" one of his classmates said.

"What a jerk..." someone else murmured.

Uozumi sniffled. "The whole class got along fine before Matsuoka joined. It was him who ruined everything for us." Then, full on crying, he asked, "Why can't we all just get along?"

Rin thought of all the times his classmates talked behind Nanase's back. How they complained to Rin about him. How eagerly they joined in on all of Rin's games. And suddenly, he felt very, very small.

***

The water in the pond was cold and dirty. Rin's skin prickles as he tried to shake leaves out of his hair. His clothes and shoes were soaked.

_Mom's gonna be so mad at me..._

"Man, today was just not your day, Matsuoka," Uozumi said. "But let's be friends again from tomorrow, okay?"

They had been the ones to push him in, those jerks. Even though he was their scapegoat.

 _Friends_. 

All his classmates were gone. He was alone.

So this was it. Starting tomorrow, he would be all alone. No one would sit with him, or talk to him, or play with him. He would be all by himself.

Or maybe not. Like they said. Maybe they could forget it all and pretend it never happened.

His eyes stung.

"Matsuoka."

It was Sensei.

"What are you doing in the pond? Get out of there."

"Uozumi and the others pushed me in."

His teacher began to walk away. "Don't lie," he said. "Tell me the truth."

Rin remained silent. He raised himself to his feet and squeezed water out of t-shirt. Climbing out, something caught his eye.

Reaching into the grimy water, he pulled out Nanase's notebook. So he didn't manage to find it after all.

Staring at the torn, wrinkled pages and the damaged spine, Rin wondered why Nanase would go so far to retrieve this. He flipped through the pages.

 **『Can you show me what the teacher said?』**  
『Sure.』

 **『What are you saying?』**  
『It's nothing. 』

 **『When do we have choir practice? 』**  
『After lunch.』

 **『Can you tell me what she instructed? 』**  
『OK.』

He turned a few pages ahead.

 **『Can you tell me what the question she asked is? 』**  
『Ask someone else, please. I'm busy. 』

 **『What is the next class? 』**  
『Find it out yourself.』

『Don't come to choir practice. It's inconvenient. 』  
**『Sorry』**

Further.

『Stop singing, Mr Tone-deaf』  
**『Sorry』**

『Why are you always asking me for stuff? It's annoying! 』  
**『I'm sorry』**

『Just kill yourself already. 』  
**『I'm sorry』**

**『I'm sorry 』『I'm sorry』『I'm sorry』**

Doodles and scribbles, rude drawings, all over the text. Messages to Nanase, none of them polite. Torn pages.

And everywhere, Nanase's repeated words: _I'm_ _sorry_.

Rin felt hollow.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, so funny story : I had the entire bullying arc written except I hated it and I became really self conscious about my writing. However, people actually commented on the last chapter and I didn't see it until late. It gave me a huge boost and I felt like I should continue haha. Thank you to everyone who clicked on this fanfic. I'm so grateful.
> 
> Also, in case you're wondering why there are such huge spaces in between paragraphs, it's because my hyper brain can't actually handle huge blocks of text with minimal spacing, so even while writing I like large spaces. So yeah.


	4. Alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He was alone. Just like Nanase.

His mom was waiting for him when he got back.

"Rin, I got a call from your teacher this afternoon. Do you know what's this about?"

Rin tried to walk past her, up the stairs to his room.

"Rin, I asked you a question."

"No, I don't," Rin mumbled. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Don't lie to me young man! You've been causing at trouble at school, haven't you?" she cried before pausing for a moment. "Why are you all wet again?"

"I went jumping in the river as always. Leave me alone."

"Rinrin!"

"Okay, fine!" Rin spun around. "So I teased a boy a little! Big deal. He deserved it, and I was just having fun! You're so pathetic!"

Rin pretended not to see the tears pooling in his mom's eyes. Or else he couldn't face her.

"Get in the car. We're going to the Nanases right now."

"Fine by me," Rin said. He made sure to slam the car door a little too loudly so his mom knew exactly how he felt about all this.

On the way, his mom stopped by an ATM to withdraw some money. Rin knew exactly what for, and more importantly, how much.

A woman was waiting for them at the bridge. Rin felt a sense of dread upon looking at her.

_She looks exactly like Nanase_ , was his first thought. Straight black hair and blue eyes. Her arms were crossed and she was looking directly at him. Just as intimidating as her son, though maybe in reality she too was a total pushover.

His mother talked to her while Rin watched the interaction, filled with lots of bows and "I'm sorry"s and if there is any compensation--

"Rinrin!" his mother called, snapping him out of daze. "I'll go talk to Nanase-san. Go find Haruka."

She gave him a meaningful glance. Rin tried to look like he didn't care as the pair walked off leaving him alone. He stood around for a few minutes before boredom led him to the area below the bridge.

This place had been one of their prime hangouts, Sousuke and his. The graffiti that covered the cement pillars were 75% meaningless writing scribbled with vandals and young couples, and 25% were authored by Rin and Sousuke.

Rin thought about what Sousuke would think of the situation. Laugh at him, probably. He wished he was here.

"I don't wanna talk to the stupid--" Rin muttered, and stopped.

There was Nanase.

He looked more at peace as he sat by the water, swinging his legs back and forth while feeding bread to a flock of pigeons. He didn't seem to have noticed Rin, or if he did, he didn't seem to care. The guy always looked so indifferent. His eyes were laser focused on the birds, as if soon he would grow a pair of wings and fly with them too.

Rin tried to be inconspicuous as he sneaked by behind Nanase. Slowly, slowly.

Just as victory seemed to be his, he tripped, sending the pigeons flying and causing Nanase to look in his direction.

The freak's eyes widened. So he hadn't noticed Rin after all.

Rin immediately felt annoyed. How irritating. He began, "If you think I'm gonna apologise, you must be out--"

"Let's go, Haruka."

His words caught in his throat. Laying a hand on Nanase's shoulder, his mother gave Rin an icy look.

Rin gulped. Mrs Nanase did not look like a woman he wanted to mess with. He wondered if she had heard what he said.

"Um..." he began. "I'm sorry--"

She looked at him for a second.

"What a vulgar face," she said. "Just like your mother's."

They left.

"Rinrin."

He turned. His mother placed a hand on his shoulder, and smiled.

"Be a good boy starting tomorrow, okay?"

Rin wondered why her ear was bleeding.

* * *

Rin's indoor shoes were gone.

That was the first thing he noticed when he came to school the next day. Weird. He was sure he had kept them properly the day before.

When he told his teacher, he said that it was Rin's own responsibility to take care of his things.

So Rin bought a new pair. And then another one. And then another one. Each time, it was lost, or found in the trash can, or thrown into the pond.

"It's your own responsibility," his teacher repeated.

In PE class, Nanase and he were the only one without partners. Luckily he excused himself. He didn't want to be grouped with the freak; even if he had his mommy protecting him, Rin would die if he had to act all friendly during class.

But no one else seemed to want to be friendly with him either.

In volleyball, the ball always seemed to find his face. His bag was thrown into the pool sometimes. Uozumi and the others hit him a little bit harder than usual.

Nanase just watched.

* * *

> Dear Mr Matsuoka,
> 
> We regret to inform you that your scholarship has been revoked. Our school has a very strict policy--

* * *

_"Hey, Rin? It's Sousuke. You weren't picking up the phone, so I'm leaving a message. Call me once you listen to it. I heard you won't be going to Australia after all. That's too bad, huh? Listen, it wasn't because of that... Issue with Nanase, right? It wasn't your fault. I can't believe we won't be going to school together. It's all Nanase's fault. Anyway, call me back."_

* * *

After school one day, Rin walked into class to see Nanase wiping his desk. So he was still getting messages like that. 

_He's getting bullied even now? What a loser,_ Rin thought. He wanted to feel smug, or think, _"Serves him right!"_ but he didn't really care anymore. 

Rin tried not to think about who started writing those messages in chalk on his desk in the first place.

Rin walked quietly without acknowledging the freak. He was just gonna take his bag and run home--

That was his desk.

That was  _Rin's_  desk.

He ran forward and grabbed Nanase's shoulder. Pushinh him aside, Rin saw. The desk was clean. Nothing.

"What the hell were you doing at my desk?" he said, shaking Nanase roughly. Nanase just tried to push him away.

"Say something!" Rin said, his voice quivering for some reason. "Well?"

Nanase just whimpered slightly, struggling to move his hand away from its place on his shoulder.

He never says anything. _Why don't you say anything?_

"Why?" Rin said, hating how weak he sounded. "Say something. It's all your fault."

Rin's shoes were gone because people stole them. The ball hit his face because the others aimed it there. He didn't have partners in PE because no one was his friend anymore. His classmates hit him because they wanted to hurt him. They hurt him. He was alone. Just like Nanase.

Rin grabbed Nanase's arm hard and Nanase looked at him with what looked like pain. He looked panicked for once, and not just cold. Good.

"You got a problem?" Rin sneered. "Then say something. Come on! Use your voice!"

In one second, Nanase teeth clamped down on his hand.

Rin retracted his arm in instant, before hitting the offender.

"You crazy little--" he said, grabbing his opponent's black hair. "How dare you bite me, you mutt!"

Then Nanase was hitting him back, and suddenly they were struggling: Rin hitting, punching him, while Nanase kicked him, slapped him, trying to break free of his grip. Rin landed on the linoleum floor with a groan of pain, and then Nanase was on top of him in an instant, hitting him, pulling his hair. Rin didn't know the quiet boy had the guts to do that at all.

"I'm doinh mah bast," Nanase cried, pulling at his shirt.

"Huh? I can't understand what you're saying!", Rin said, trying to hit back, but already out of energy.

"I'm doinh... mah bast... " Nanase repeated.

"I can't understand what you're saying!"

"I'm doinh mah bast!"

Then Nanase was sobbing, loud sobs that Rin didn't imagine he could make.

* * *

Nanase moved away. He didn't even stay for graduation.

With Nanase gone, Rin was the class's new target. The bullying had continued faithfully everyday, right up until graduation day, including the messages in chalk on his desk.

The last day of school. Everyone was with their friends, promising to write to them during break, to call them, to be friend even as they moved up to middle school.

Not Rin, though. Rin was alone in the classroom.

_Freak!_

_Bullying asshole_

_Kill yourself_

It was only now Rin realised.

He was cleaning Rin's desk.  _Nanase was cleaning my desk._

"He really... " Rin muttered, feeling his vision blur with tears that he did not try to wipe away. "Pisses me off..."

Haruka Nanase. Rin hated him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter but we're finally done with part 1 uwu. Let me know what you think. Also sorry for the weird update schedule I hate typing on my phone but I got no choice


End file.
